The Adventures Of Grand Papillion
by CazzaCat
Summary: Follow Grand Papillion and his side kick Bat Boy! Please Read And Review!
1. Grand Papillion Goes Shopping

_**The Adventures of Grand Papillion**_

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AN: Cue Batman music! I don't own it! This is a one shot! A little look-see into the possibility of Grand Papillion getting his own TV show! If people like it I will write more adventures tee hee!

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_Featuring: Joachim (Grand Papillion), Keith Valentine (Bat Boy), Rose (Lucia), Anastasia and Yuma (Damsels in distress) Yuri Hyuga (Evil Mastermind don't ask!) Kurando Inugami (Biggest Fan), Karin Koenig (Femme Fatale) and Yoshiko Kawashima (brat)._

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'**Welcome to Grand Papillion and Bat Boy Adventures!' Big booming voice. 'This week, Grand Papillion goes shopping!'****

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**S****cene One – The mastermind unveils his plot… **

'Look Bat Boy, it's the shopping arcade!' Grand Papillion shouted in excitement. 'I bet we could get a thousand good deals here!'

'Fascinating.' Bat boy replied sarcastically. 'So why are we here again Grand Papillion?'

The muscled man laughed loudly. 'Cant you just see the crime here? Thieves, pickpockets, over priced coats! It goes on and on! We are here to end it and bring justice to the shoppers of this district! Isn't it exciting!'

Bat boy groaned. 'Nauseatingly so.'

'Come Bat Boy! We must expose the criminals!' Grand Papillion stalked off towards a young man hunched over and laughing evil-like. 'What are you planning evil doer!'

The young man stood up, 'Grand Papillion how nice of you to visit! Muahahahahahaha!'

'Look out Bat Boy it's Hunky Harmonixer, the most notorious evil master mind known to man!' Grand Papillion cried out! 'Tell me what your notorious plans are, Hunky Harmonixer!'

'Muahahahaha, you can never beat me Grand Papillion! I've teamed up with Karin the Killer and together we are going to take over this shopping arcade, and the one down the street, then the one by the river! Then we'll take over the world, after we take over the shop near the sea…'

Bat Boy sighed. 'We get it already, get on with it.'

'Oh right! You'll never be able to stop me Muahahahahahahahahah!' Hunky Harmonixer raced off down the street laughing loudly.

'Oh no! He's getting away!' Grand Papillion yelled pointing after him heroically.

For a moment every thing stopped and crickets chirped. Grand Papillion turned back to Bat Boy who shrugged at him. 'What do you want me to do about it?'

'Never mind Bat Boy! We'll get him next time….' He answered narrowing his eyes.

**

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**Scene Two – Damsels in distress!**

The two young ladies cried out at one another. 'No I saw it!'

'No its mine!' The other one yelled. 'I want it, I want it! You already have lots of clothes, Anastasia!'

'So! I saw it first! And I have the money for it, you don't.' Anastasia yelled back. 'You can't have it if you can't afford it!'

'Ladies? What seems to be the matter here?' Grand Papillion said stepping into the middle.

'Back off oaf!' Anastasia yelled kicking him in the shin, knocking the big man to the ground. 'It's none of your business!'

Yuma kicked him too. 'Yeah, who said you could interrupt? Didn't you ever hear of manners?'

Bat Boy laughed to himself. 'I like these two.'

'Let's go Yuma.' Anastasia said offering her the item of clothing. 'We can share it.'

'Sounds fair Anastasia.' Yuma answered walking off.

From the ground Grand Papillion stands shakily. 'Another problem solved by Grand Papillion and Bat Boy.'

'What?' Bat Boy asked. 'But we didn't…'

'Come now, Bat Boy! Don't be modest let us continue on our quest to fight crime!' The big man limped off towards another stall.

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**Scene Three – Femme Fatale**

She stood there in the street and grinned smugly to herself. 'Raise it by another 100 percent! That should keep the customers paying! Ha ha ha ha ha!' She laughed, stopping after a moment. 'Oh no! It's Grand Papillion!'

'Bat Boy, beware! Look it's Karin the Killer! I wonder what diabolical plan she is hatching in that clever mind of hers!'

'Who cares?' Bat Boy answered smiling at her, 'I wanna know how she fitted into that tiny skirt…'

Grand Papillion dived in front of him. 'No do not look at the blinding orange! That is how she entices people to stop!'

'Well it's working!' Bat Boy answered pushing his overgrown ape over. 'And I wanna be stopped!'

Grand Papillion frantically looked around for a way to save his sidekick. 'Oh Karin, your legs look fat in that!' He shouted at the woman who stood there blank for a moment.

'W-w-why did you say something so… so mean!' She ran away crying. 'Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!'

Bat Boy looked disgusted. 'Why did you do that?'

'I had to save you and the people buying her Killer Coats! They were so over priced any way…' He replied. 'Yes one more victory for Grand Papillion!'

Bat Boy grumbled. 'Sometimes brother, I think you're an idiot…'

'Let us continue!'

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**Scene Four – My Biggest Fan**

'Oh look Bat Boy it's an adoring fan!' Grand Papillion cried out.

Bat Boy stopped and looked around the floor. 'Since when did people actually like you saving them?'

One lone young man sat at a café table absentmindedly chewing on his pencil.

'I think he's doing a cross word…' Bat Boy answered. 'Just leave him…'

'A cross word? Oh no! The very embodiment of all things dastardly!' Grand Papillion cried out striking a pose.

'What? Are you drunk or something? How could a cross word be dastardly?' His sidekick whined.

'They force you to think of ways to answer their senseless riddles and they hide secret codes to brain wash you. I must save him from his predicament. Stooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop!'

The young man looked up in fright as the huge muscled man raced towards him, running like a waddling duck.

'Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!' He yelled jumping up and moving out of the way just in time as the wrestler tackled the table and ripped his paper to shreds, including the cross word he had just spent an hour on.

'Kurando are you okay?' Anastasia cried out running to his aid.

'I'm fine, but I'm going to have a phobia of leather for the rest of my life.' He answered staring at the individual that was demolishing his paper.

'Oh no. I ran into him earlier when I was shopping with Yuma. He's weird.' Anastasia answered. 'Let's get out of here before he thinks the sky is falling.' She said running away with Kurando.

'What?' Grand Papillion yelled. 'The sky is falling? Every vampire for himself!' He dived under the coffee table and wrapped the table cloth around his shoulders.

'Oh how heroic.' Bat Boy answered. 'You sure inspired him too.'

After about half an hour of convincing Grand Papillion the sky wasn't falling they continued on their quest.

A young girl walked past and laughed. 'Ha Ha! You're stupid!'

'Yoshiko!' A voice yelled out. 'You brat get over here!'

**

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**Finale – The lovely Rose…**

'Oh no help!' She cried out waving out wildly. 'Oh please wont some body help me!'

'Look Bat Boy! That beautiful woman is in danger, we must save her!' Grand Papillion yelled racing towards her, stopping for a moment as Hunky Harmonixer landed in front of him. 'I should have known it was you!'

'Who else would it be? This is your first villain!' Bat Boy answered shrugging.

'I shall thwart your evil ways!' The muscular vampire yelled. 'And I will save the world!'

'Muahahahahaha! You can't beat me! My plan is flawless!' Hunky Harmonixer laughed, 'and with Karin the Killer on my side I'm unbeatable!'

Grand Papillion stood up straight and laughed. 'Hahahah I have defeated Karin and now I shall defeat you!'

So a battle ensued between them and they fought for hours. All sorts of words popped up.

'Kapow! Bang! Schlap! Pow!' When the dust cleared there was hardly anything left of the shopping arcade. Hunky Harmonixer screamed in frustration. 'You may have one the battle Grand Papillion, but not the war! Hahahahahahahahahahah!' He yelled running off. He would have got away too, if he watched where he was going. He ran head first into a lamp post and knocking himself out cold…

'That was pathetic…' Bat Boy groaned. 'Can I put in my two weeks notice? Please?'

'Ha Bat Boy we have done it! We have thwarted Hunky Harmonixer and saved the world from his wrath.'

'My Hero!' Rose yelled running forward and hugging him.

'It was my pleasure…' The hero replied bashfully.

Suddenly five police cars pulled up. 'Freeze!'

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**Big Booming Voice – So Grand Papillion and Bat Boy thwarted the evil mastermind Hunky Harmonixer and saved the world from his over pricing and world domination…**

'You just had to destroy the shopping arcade didn't you?' Bat Boy whined.

Grand Papillion laughed. 'This is just a minor set back Bat Boy! We will get the bail sorted soon… I hope.'

'**Stay tuned until next week when Grand Papillion and Bat Boy Take on the Queer Eyes for the Vampires! Until next time, Stay strong and fight all evil doers!'**

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**Well that was just a fic I randomly decided to write because I thought it would be funny! Let me know what you think! And I will write the next episode if I get enough reviews! All you have to do is click that pretty purple button!**


	2. The Queer Eyes for the Vampires

**_The Adventures of Grand Papillion_**

_AN: What do you think? Could this be a mini series? Oh and I'm taking requests for episodes tee hee:-) And just so you know I have nothing against gay people k! My bro's gay:-P )

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_Featuring: Joachim (Grand Papillion), Keith Valentine (Bat Boy), Lucia, Anastasia and Yuma (Guests on TV Show ) Yuri Hyuga (TV Host) Kurando Inugami (Biggest Fan), Karin Koenig (Fashion Critic) and Yoshiko Kawashima (brat in Audience) Pierre and Gerad (Queer Eye Master Minds.)

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**Big booming voice, 'This week Grand Papillion and Bat Boy Take on the Queer Eyes for the Vampires! Will they turn our hero's into stylists in their ever growing army of straight men? Or will Grand Papillion and Bat Boy be able to thwart their dastardly plan!

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**Scene One – Twins of Terror…**

'Look Bat Boy we're on a set for my favorite show!' Grand Papillion squealed in delight jumping up and down. 'Oh I can't wait to meet the Queers! They have the best fashion taste!'

Bat boy groaned. 'If they tell you that you dress well I'm going to jump off a cliff.'

'Oh there he is Gerad!' One man said slinking up to Grand Papillion with a grin on his face.

'Oh Pierre he is magnificent!' Gerad answered an evil smile crossing his lips. 'Come now Grand Papillion we must get you ready for your performance.'

'I get to perform!' Grand Papillion asked excitedly. 'Oh my!'

'Yes, It will be… your last performance.' Pierre said leading him away.

'Hey Grand Papillion I think..- ' Bat Boy started.

'Will I get to wear accessories?' Grand Papillion answered ignoring his side kick. They walked away leaving Bat Boy standing there on an unused set.

'Why doesn't any one listen to me?' He whined turning back to explore the studio. 'Honestly…'

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**Scene Two – Bat Boy learns of their Evil Plan…**

'Oh what a brilliant plan! Grand Papillion is finished! Hahahhahaha!'

'Shame isn't it brother, that a man with such beautiful muscles will have to be destroyed!' Gerad finished sighing.

Bat Boy neared the door suspiciously, knowing that the twins were up to something. Something terribly evil. 'I have to stop them…' He started. 'Wait what am I doing? I'm thinking like my brother!' He peered around the corner and spotted them loading up a huge amount of cash.

'Good thing no one will suspect that we stole that cash from the bank. I mean how could any one believe that two very stylish twins would do such a thing.'

'I know Pierre! So very stupid! How could any one even think such a thing!' They laughed together evilly finally clamping down the case and locking it.

'Well we had better make sure that big, gorgeous lump of muscle is ready for his performance.' Pierre said motioning for Gerad to follow him. Their laughter echoed down the halls after them. Bat Boy snuck in and examined the box. It was locked.

**Big Booming Voice: And so it seemed hopeless to Bat Boy as he realized that he couldn't open that box with out the key…**

'Yes I can…' Bat Boy answered the narrator.

**No you can't… The script said so.**

'Yeah I could. I'm a vampire what else am I supposed to do and what script…'

**The script I'm reading out! Geez are you stupid or something?**

'Did you just call me stupid? Ohhh you are gonna get it!'

_**CRASH... BANG... KAPOW... CRASH... OOHH... GRRR... OWWWWW... HELP! MUMMY………**_

'Don't you ever call me stupid again got that….'

**Ok… Please don't hurt me…**

Bat Boy entered the room quietly and pondered. 'What are they gonna do to my brother?' He opened the box and found the huge sum of cash and two guns. 'Well this is interesting…'

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**Scene Three – Celebrities!**

Grand Papillion watched the first segment of the show utterly awe struck. The three most famous dancers were on the stage before him and he so wanted to meet them. His make up had been done and his hair had been curled. He felt beautiful, which is weird for a man to feel. The dancers entertained them and finally sat down to be interviewed by the one and only Yuri Hyuga!

'Pinch me!' Grand Papillion squealed quietly.

'Gladly.' Bat Boy answered pinching his brother hard enough to draw blood. Grand Papillion yelped a little.

'Shhh…' The director hushed them.

'I didn't say literally.' He whispered back to his brother who was grinning wildly. 'You seem to get quite a bit more pleasure out of it than you should have.'

'I do what I can!' Bat Boy answered, his smile from ear to ear.

'SHHHH!' The director stood up and chased them both with Dictaphones off the set…

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**Scene Four – The Hero Is Captured**

Bat Boy stood alert and watched as Yuri Hyuga interviewed his brother.

'I heard you were recently arrested, could you tell us what happened there?' Yuri asked looking serious.

'Yes it was only a misunderstanding of sorts…'

'You destroyed the entire Shopping Mall!' Yuri blurted out. 'Misunderstanding my butt!' The crowd applauded and laughed along with their host.

'It wasn't entirely fault! Hunky Harmonizer did most of the damage. Him and his stupid fusions!' Grand Papillion argued. 'If he hadn't done that stupid ? attack it'd still be standing.'

'All right moving on.' Yuri said. 'Your side kick Bat Boy? Is it true he escaped from prison and left you there? I mean how callous is that?'

'He did no such thing. He brought me back curly fries…'

The whole audience erupted into laughter at that last comment. Bat Boy sighed. 'Why did you have to tell every one that?' Still the audience laughed and even Yuri had to chuckle at that comment.

'Right so your side kick escaped from prison just to bring you curly fries.'

'Yes.' Grand Papillion answered not caring that the audience had damn near wet themselves with laughter.

After the laughing had died down, Yuri asked, 'So today we also have the Queer guys for the Vampires here to tell Grand Papillion about his fashion sense. But if you ask me all leather is cool!'

Gerad and Pierre slinked onto that stage with their weird walk that seemed to go hips before feet. 'Oh my! He is just fabulous! The way he uses that colour and that bat skull!'

'Oh yes Pierre just amazing.'

After a few more questions Yuri cut to a commercial break and stood up. 'Curly fries hahahahahaha…' He answered walking off the set.

'Get him.' Pierre suddenly said grabbing Grand Papillion and shoving him into a box. 'Lets go and throw him off the top of the building that way he cant interfere with our plans.'

Bat Boy groaned. 'Cant you guys be a little more original?'

The twins smiled at each other. 'No.' The answered in unison throwing a smoke bomb. As the smoke cleared they had gone.

'For Pete's sake… Why do I have to save him?'

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**Scene Five – Daring Rescue**

They were about to fling him off the cliff when Bat Boy burst onto the scene. 'Oh brother…'

'What?' Came the muffled voice from inside the box.

'Now Gerad on the count of three. One; two; thr'

'Wait!' Bat Boy yelled. 'Look down there! There's some one wearing bright pink loafers!'

The brothers dropped the box looking around for those delightful shoes.

'Look down there!'

'We must catch him!' With that they both jumped off the building realizing their mistake only after they had left the safety of the ledge.

'You have got to be kidding me. Our second villains and they were so stupid they jumped off a building…' He said dumbstruck that they would actually fall for that.

**And Bat Boy freed his brother from his box like prison, glad to have saved the day yet again.**

'Thank you brother. You have lived up to your reputation as the best side kick ever!' Grand Papillion answered laughing triumphantly.

'I hate you sometimes brother.' Bat Boy answered leaving his brother on the roof.

**And thanks to Bat Boy the world could rest peacefully again knowing that that dastardly duo had been defeated by their own fashion crisis.

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OMG how long has it taken me to update this story. Sorry! I am so sorry! N e ways hope you all like it not as funny as the first one. I'm also taking requests for bad guys btw. So if you think there's a character with a super cool bad guy locked away some where let me know tee hee! N e ways yep you know what to do!

PLEASE REVIEW!

Pretty Please?


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